“It could literally decapitate him. Wouldn’t that be wonderful?”

Jeremy Kyle incident leads to calls for razor sharp envelopes

After an envelope thrown by an angry moron which struck Jeremy Kyle on the head was shown to have caused no lasting damage, there have been calls to for envelopes everywhere to be made from razor sharp metal sheets.

A ‘guest’ on the show threw the envelope at Kyle after a DNA test proved he was the father a child with some skank he’d been hanging around with.
Television viewer Donald Williams said, “We simply can’t run the risk of this type of brilliant incident happening again, and of Jeremy Kyle being left completely injury free.”